1. If I don't take any child support from my daughter's father, can I stop him from seeing the baby?

Why would you want to prevent your daughter from having a relationship with her father? Most courts would frown on your proposal for several reasons. Fathers are important in the lives of their children, both emotionally and financially. It's also your daughter's right, not yours, to receive financial support from both parents. So, unless your boyfriend is abusive or is neglectful of your daughter when she is with him, it is highly unlikely the court would allow you to block his access to the baby, even if you give up child support.

2. Whenever the baby's father comes to see her, we fight. That can't be good for the baby. She sees and hears everything. I'm afraid that when she's old enough to understand, we'll create more problems for her because her parents can't get along.

It's hard on you, I know, but children usually love both parents and it hurts them when parents fight in front of them. You should also refrain from saying bad things about her father when he's not around. It probably would help if you attended a parenting class. Many state courts require parents fighting over custody and visitation to attend these classes. Ask about court approved Parenting Classes in your area. There's little or no cost to attend.

3. I'll do that, but I can't afford to hire a lawyer and go to court every time we have an argument about visitation. What else can I do?

Parenting Coordinators are sometimes used in cases with ongoing visitation problems. The Coordinator is often empowered to decide what to do in difficult cases. For example, if the parents can't decide which parent will take the child to soccer practice, the Coordinator will choose. Even if the parents can afford lawyers, the courts are busy and can't handle the day-to-day problems that some parents experience around visitation. Sometimes the court appoints a Parenting Coordinator and sometimes parents hire their own Parenting Coordinator.

4. Where can I find a qualified Parenting Coordinator?

Some family law lawyers, social workers, psychologists and even retired family court judges act as Parenting Coordinators. Speak to a family law lawyer in your area or check out the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts' website at www.afccnet.org.